Stop the hamster wheel, I want to get off.

Firstly, I want to start by saying this isn’t my picture. I don’t know whose it is, but it inspired me hugely across the last few months, and so this first post is an ode to whoever created this fantastic piece of content.

So – I’m kicking off this year with a pretty severe ‘New Year, New Me’ challenge… and so what better topic for my first blog post to cover than that?!

It’s very easy to say it… ‘follow your dreams’. This wholesome message shared all over social media, showing people sitting on exotic beaches in wide brimmed hats without a care in the World… doing it is a whole other thing.

Obviously not everyone is in the same situation to be able to quit their jobs, pack up all their belongings into storage and book a one way ticket to a far off place (if that indeed is your dream). Instead, we focus on this moment as a holiday once or twice a year, where we ‘escape’ our regular lives to live out this dream scenario, then returning to normality where it’s safe and constant.

“Oh my God, you’re so brave!”

Everyone. Literally.

There is not a single person I’ve spoken to that hasn’t said this. I didn’t really understand at the beginning what part of my decision was ‘brave’, but then this sentence is usually followed by a ‘I wish I could do that’ (which of course, anyone can). It’s just about what you need to sacrifice in order to get to that point, which I guess is where the bravery part comes in.

So here comes the big question – WHY am I giving so much up to chase my dreams – and HOW?

I’ve come from a background of taking risks, starting with deciding not to go to university all those years ago – a rite of passage for all others my age at the time. This was then followed by deciding to move to London from my Northern hometown of York, with no job to go to, and just a dream to live in the shiny big city.

Obviously there were ups and downs, some crappy jobs and moments of frustration – but ultimately I got to where I wanted to be, and looking back taking those risks undoubtedly got me to where I am now.

“What if I fall?
Oh my darling, but what if you fly?”

Erin Hanson

My favourite quote, that I try to live by every day.

So here we are – 10 years later, and I’m flying.

Countless friends and people I would have never met had I not taken the risks I did. A beautiful apartment in South London with a happy cat and wonderful partner. A job in an industry I adore giving me all the experiences you can think of.

You’d think making a decision to leave all that behind would be hard, but actually figuring out the ‘why’ for next years plan was actually the most simple part.

I’ve never been good at standing still. Whether happy or heartbroken, I’ve always felt the urge to move around, believing there’s always something more to see just around the corner. That, combined with the restrictions of Covid, plus some family losses, was the driving force to make me realise if I don’t do the things I want to do now, it could never happen.

And suddenly, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. I couldn’t imagine my current life in the equation I see so many others happily living – the daily grind, buying a house, having kids and then maybe some travel when I retire. Don’t get me wrong – this life is understandably suited for so many people – its safe, calm and comfortable… nothing about the trip I’m embarking upon is any of those things!

But I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I need to live the life I want now, to travel and see the World – before its too late.

Morbid? Yes. Accurate? Also yes. We never know when that metaphorical bus is coming for us.

So now I’d decided why, and exactly what I wanted to do. The next big thing was how.

How – how – HOW do you begin to tell everyone you love – family, friends and partner – that you want to leave them to go travelling the World on your own, with no idea of when you’ll return?

How do you quit your job when you’re finally doing something you love and are climbing that ladder to where you want to be? Don’t even mention trying to live off any savings you’ve managed to scrape together over the years, knowing that when you return, you’ll have to start over.

How do you even begin to contemplate going to the other side of the World, alone, as a woman, knowing how unsafe it can be and feeling at constant risk outside your comfort zone?

I thought back to when I took all those risks over a decade ago – how did I do it then?

It was all about the support. Friends, family, whoever I met along the way. Despite the initial shock of whatever choices I made, the right people showed themselves by supporting me in my decision, and making the transition as easy as possible for me. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have people around me that remind me of why I’m doing this every time when I doubt myself – and trust me, there’s been a lot.

The financial and safety aspects are a little harder to tackle and there is no one answer for these – I just had to keep in mind that:

1. Its only money – you earnt it before, you can do it again.
2. Your career isn’t going anywhere – if anything, companies should respect a decision to want to immerse and educate yourself in new cultures.
3. Yes, being outside your comfort zone is scary as hell. But it’s all about common sense – respect the cultures of the countries you visit and be as careful and respectful as you would anywhere else.

So there it is. The ‘whys’, ‘whats’ and ‘hows’ of this gigantic decision, that I think so many people dream of, but never dare to take the first step.

Call it an ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ experience, a gap year, or even a mid-life crisis – it’s definitely going to change some things for me – and all I can hope is that I can look back in another 10 years and thank myself for just effing going for it.